You're under eighteen and you can't stop.

First, what's true

You are not broken, and you're not the only one. Most of the adults in our room found this when they were your age or younger. One of them was eight. It isn't your fault that a screen showed you something before you were old enough to know what it was. What it does, though, is real: it grows, it needs more, and the shame after each time makes you want the thing that caused the shame. Adults call it lust and treat it as an addiction, because that's how it behaves. Knowing that doesn't fix it. It does mean you can stop thinking you're uniquely bad.

Why we can't invite you yet

Sexaholics Anonymous is for adults. Its own rules don't let anyone under eighteen attend a meeting, and the fellowship's pamphlet for young people says so on its first page. We're not going to pretend otherwise, and we're not going to ask you to lie about your age. The room will be here when you're eighteen, and the people in it will remember being you.

What you can do today

• Tell one adult you trust. A parent, a school counselor, a coach, a youth pastor, an aunt or uncle. Not because you're in trouble; because a secret is the fuel, and this one is too heavy to carry alone at your age. You can say it in one sentence: "I've been looking at porn and I can't stop, and I need help."
• If you don't have that adult, a school counselor is paid to hear exactly this and has heard it before.
• If the thoughts have gone somewhere dark, call or text 988, any hour. That comes before anything on this page.
• Put the device somewhere you'd have to walk to. Not as a cure. As one less easy door tonight.

If you're the parent who found this on your kid's phone

Breathe. This is common, it's not a verdict on your child or your parenting, and the way you respond in the next hour will shape whether they ever tell you anything again. Shame drives it underground; calm, unafraid attention is what a kid needs to hear that this has a name and a way out. A counselor who works with young people is the right next call. And if you're reading this page because you recognized yourself in it too, our room is open to you.

Read how it starts and where it goes Read how it starts and where it goes Find the meeting

Sexaholics Anonymous in Springfield, Missouri, the only SA meeting in southwest Missouri and the Ozarks. People drive in from Nixa, Ozark, Republic, Branson, Bolivar, Lebanon, Joplin, and the towns between. A closed meeting; members are primarily men, and anyone who calls is welcome. Nothing on this site is professional or medical advice.